China 101: Always Bring A Roll of Toilet Paper Wherever You Go

“Sir! The gates are breaching!”

Startled from the lull from the audio feedback from external sources, the main controller barked, “What d’ya mean? Pinpoint the source ASAP. We are in a classroom! Goddamnit!”

“Sir, yes sir! … Found it!” The minion replied with a beam on his face. Immediately, his face creased, “Approximately 5 minutes ago, the body was instructed to drink 加多宝 that we agree to order from the canteen earlier. Through homeostatic regulation, the muscles are pushing the byproducts out against the gate.”

“I’ll be damned…” The main controller quickly compute alternate scenarios and steps to take…

Without missing a beat, the body was instructed to rush out to the toilet, only to be greeted empty toilet paper holders. Grudgingly, a roll was purchased from the nearby store.

It was a nice shit, with several more minutes than expected missing from the class.

Lesson learnt: always have a roll of toilet paper onhand. You never know when you need it, especially in China.


Image taken from: Drop – Toilet paper shôsetsu

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